Idiot Mittens
by chiefraz
Summary: A short fic brought on by the snow, a Kouryou POV


Idiot Mittens  
  
A short Kouryou POV in honor of the 18 freaking inches of snow that got dumped on Upstate New York. Guess what I've been doing this weekend?  
  
Someday, I'm not going to have to shovel snow. Some day, some how over the fucking....oops not suppose to cuss, Master Sanzo sez it's not becoming a monk. But then again, as he would lit up his pipe and give me a wink, neither is smoking. But anyway, some how over the FREAKING rainbow, I will have someone else do it. I swear by the Merciful Goddess, even if she doesn't exist, I...Kouryu, when I get big, will never shovel snow again.  
  
You hear that Old Hag? Never!  
  
But for the time being, I'm out here with the rest of the novices with brooms and scoops. The snow came down pretty good all night and in the morning it was up to Komoyou Sanzo's knees, so we who live at the bottom of the food chain were turned out in boots and leggings to clear off the walks and court yards. So there we were a bunch of little bald heads and me. Them in their plain gray mittens and me in a pair of little red mitts that Master made for me himself. Go figure, he could make something other then paper airplanes. But the mittens were the goofy kind, with the string at the cuff that ran up your arm, over your back and to the cuff of the other mitten. So you don't lose them. Great, thanks for making me look like a total dork.  
  
So here we are a bunch of baldies and me, Masters Pet, with a head full of blonde hair and bright red mittens. Oh somebody shoot me now. Instead I got a snow ball to the back of the head. Whipping a round quick, there was no one I could yell at because the little ass...creeps, were pretending to work so industriously and innocently. Then another hunk of snow hit my ear and this time I turned in time to see who did it.  
  
Heck of it was, I didn't even know his name, and really I didn't know any of their names. They didn't offer and I never asked. Anyone who started out conversations with "hey aren't you Kouryou the River Rat?" Well, that's as far as those conversations ever went. But the snow ball I tossed smacked him right in the face. HA!  
  
Oh crap! Now they're all in on the act. I dodge a few, but take a couple to the chest and arm, until the ice ball hit. A chunk of ice packed in snow, caught me in the right eye and cut the lid. First off, there is nothing as red as blood on snow. Or as scary. Bright and warm and dripping down the front of my face, on to the little white coat and then to the pristine snow. Must have been scary enough for them to stop and ditch their snow balls. That and the fact one of the monks came round to see why we weren't working.  
  
"He started it."  
"Yeah, he hit me."  
"Right, it's all Kouryou's fault."  
  
Dumb asses, which is the reason I'm the only one bleeding. Great logic, fuckheads.  
  
So, the monk, no big fan of mine either, sent the rest of them inside and as punishment, left me to shovel. "It's just a scratch," he admonished when I asked him about getting my eye patched up. "Don't be such a baby." Then with a smirk on his ugly conceited face, turned on his pious shit heel and left me alone to finish the court yard.  
  
Well, it could have been worse. Although for the life of me I can't see how. "I swear here and now," I yelled at the empty court yard. "I will never shovel again! I'll do anything, become a Sanzo, fight demons or get some stupid monkey to do it, I WILL NEVER SHOVEL SNOW AGAIN!!!!!" Let them punish me all they wanted, I tossed the scoop down. And a moment later, feeling dizzy and cold, the world spun grainy black and the frozen tiles of the court yard smacked my cheek. Ok, dying was an option too.  
  
It wasn't until later when the pins and needles in my arms and legs painfully announced death was not on my list of things to do today, that I awoke to find myself in Master Sanzo's quarters under a heap of covers. "You gave me quite a scare, Kouryou," his gentle voice came from behind me. "Good thing you still can call to me the same way you did when I found you in the river."  
  
"Mas....ter?" I said slowly, trying to get up. But everything hurt so badly that I lay back with a thump on the sleeping mat.  
  
"Rest, my little river traveler. You can take up your journey another day. "  
  
"Yes Master Sanzo," and I closed my eyes. But before I drifted off, I heard for the first and only time, Komoyou Sanzo raise his voice.  
  
"ALRIGHT YOU SHITHEADS, WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOT MITTINS LEFT THAT KID OUT IN THE SNOW BY HIMSELF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FESS UP RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE IF I DON'T HEAR SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING QUICK, I'M GONNA KICK ASS, TAKE NAMES AND LEAVE NO GOD ROTTED PRISONERS.  
Long story short, I didn't have to pick up another snow shovel ever again. But, I kept getting the funniest feeling, whenever I'd watch the baldie patrol out clearing the walkways, that I'd made a deal with, if not the devil, then something even more devious.  
  
Up in Heaven the Merciful Goddess laughed. "My dear Konzon, you don't know the half of it yet." 


End file.
